‘Fess It Up Friday

29 Jul

Friday took forever to arrive this week. I don’t know why but this week just felt like it dragged. And dragged. And dragged. But, Friday has finally arrived! Not that it means much when you’re training for a marathon. Tomorrow is long run day and that reuiqres considerably more effort and prepartion than hauling myself into the office.

Anyway, it’s Friday, which means it’s time for me to inappropriately overshare with all of you beautiful people!

1) I still harbor a secret desire to be a world famous Quidditch player. Nevermind that Quidditch is not a real sport and I have yet to figure out how to fly a broom. I would bet all the money I have in the world (so about $3.72) that when I am old and shuffling around some awful nursing home, I’ll be going on to all the young people about how I used to be an incredible Quidditch player.

Guys, not funny! Give me back my broom!

2) On Wednesday I was walking down the street and got my heel stuck in a grate. I fell out of my shoe and face-planted on the side-walk in front of a bunch of construction workers, which is really not the best place to perform a faceplant.

Oh, I see you were just admiring my new dance move; I call it the Grate 'n' Twist!

Then I spent a good 5 minutes tugging my shoe out of the damn grate. Lesson learned? Do not walk on grates in heels. Also, do not faceplant in a skirt in front of construction workers

3) Today I read this and now my new life goal is to find a crazed, stuffed pet monkey.

4) Yesterday, I read this, and now I want to do an Ironman. Major congratulations to Emily! I think I would start crying and quit within the first 5 minutes. Seriously, how you can swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 and then run 26.2 is beyond me. But I really, really want to put that awesome 140.6 sticker on my car, and that’s the only reason I want to do Ironman. For a sticker.

5) I was dancing in the elevator to my iPod while leaving work yesterday (I also dance in grocery stores. I am awesome and you know you want to be my friend) and I didn’t realize that the elevator had stopped. A guy got on before I stopped dancing and gave me a really weird look. Listen buddy, I’m not crazy, I’m just enjoying life, ok???

6) I haven’t done laundry in two weeks. I know have a literal mountain of clothes sitting in my hallway. And suprisingly, I still have clean clothes to wear. It might be time to cut my closet down a bit.

Err, I think we're going to need a bigger washing machine

7) All week long I’ve been listening to classical music because I secretly believe it will make me a) smarter and b) more productive at work. Plus, then I can go to fancy cocktail parties and very loudly and pompously annouce to everyone there that of course I regularly listen to Mozart’s Symphony number whatever.

8) I do not own a swimsuit that is appropriate to perform swim workouts in. I own eight gazillon biknins (thank you Target for fueling this habit), but not a single one piece. I’ve been swimming in a sports bras and shorts, but if I do the Splash ‘n’ Dash on August 7th I’ll probably need to buy a real swimsuit so I don’t look like an idiot.

9) I spent 15 minutes tearing apart my apartment yesterday morning looking for my sunglasses. Then I realized they were on top of my head. Yes I do have a college degree, thank you, but they never taught me common sense.

10) I don’t understand this planking phenomenon. A friend mentioned it the other day and the only response I had was “Wait, I don’t get it,” and “So, you just plank? In weird places?”

Can someone please explain to me why on earth you would do this? I’m sorry but I really don’t understand the hilarity of just planking on things. I can think of far better ways to waste my time.

Oh, and apparently planking has already been replaced with owling, where you just stand around pretending to look like an owl. Sure, because humans are great at looking just like owls.

11) If one more person asks me how far a marathon is I am going to karate chop them. It’s a marathon, people! It’s 26.2 miles. Every. Single. Time. The distance doesn’t change in a marathon.

12) Sometimes I look in the mirror and I’m like “Oh, hai! I’m an adult.” And then I’m all, “Of course you’re an adult you moron. You pay your internet bill, and your rent, and you take your car to the shop for repairs and book your own dentist appointments.”

Then I have to go find a corner to cry in because sometimes I really wish someone still made my dentist appointments. Being an adult is some tough stuff.

13) I’m refusing to drive in the city anymore because on Saturday night some jerk hit my car while it was parked in a parking lot and I had to shell out $400 for repairs. Dude, I have student loan payments to make so whoever you are you owe me $400.

14) I don’t really care that Amy Winehouse died. I’m sorry but am I the only person who was not at all shocked by her death?

15) I brought a Costco-sized jar of Nutella into work today. Now, I can’t do any work because all I keep thinking about is how much I love Nutella.

16) I hate the Tea Party. Let me explain something to you idiots. If we default, it will be really, really bad. And it won’t matter that you stuck to your conviction not to raise taxes, because the country will be in big, big trouble. Stop playing chicken with the country’s economic future and do what you were elected to do, lead.



6 Responses to “‘Fess It Up Friday”

  1. Sarah July 29, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

    I did the splash N’ Dash in June. No need for a real swim suit. I just swam in my tri top and shorts. But other people did swim in their sports bra and shorts to make the transition easier from the swim to run.

    I also have way to my clothes and could go I dont even know how many months without doing laundry!

    Also, on number 13! Always take metro. You don’t need a car in the city 🙂

    • feetoffancy August 2, 2011 at 11:26 am #

      I almost always do take the metro and this was the one night that I decided to drive. Fate was out to get me!!

      Are you doing Sunday’s Splash ‘n’ Dash

  2. Jenny, Bloggess July 29, 2011 at 9:23 pm #

    Everyone needs a monkey.

    • feetoffancy August 2, 2011 at 11:23 am #

      True story. Life isn’t complete until you have a monkey

  3. Dawn August 1, 2011 at 11:37 am #

    Totally do the Splash & Dash in your sports bra and shorts. No need for a suit at all.

    In re: Ironman. If you start doing tris, you’ll gradually inch up from sprint to Olympic. Then you’ll say, “Oh, that wasn’t bad, I can totally do a Half Iron.” And then next thing you know you’re pondering how you can make it work to shell out $500 for an IM registration. You think it’s crazy now, but I’ll bet in the next 5 years or so you start to get over that.

    • feetoffancy August 2, 2011 at 11:26 am #

      So glad I can do the race in shorts and sports bra because suits are way out of my price range at the moment.

      About Ironman, that is an absolutely terrifying thought. At the moment it seems impossible, but then a year ago a half-marathon seemed impossible…

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