The Injury

So, I haven’t written for awhile, again. Sorry about that guys, I do love you all. And I’ve been trying to keep up with most of your blogs. I’ll do a catch-up post later in the week and then hopefully we’ll be back on track. And I promise to return tomorrow with ‘Fess It Up Friday. But first I have some crappy, crappy news to share.

I’ve been dealing with a recurring case of shin splints over the past few weeks. I didn’t think it was a big deal. I’ve dealt with shin splints on many previous occasions. I knew the drill. Ice, stretch, ibuprofen, rest days in between running, etc. I kept running. I did my 16-miler, I did my shorter weekly runs. I even tackled a hill run which I haven’t done for awhile.

That hill run was last Thursday. Last Thursday was the last time I ran. Over the weekend the pain in my right shin got worse. I woke up Saturday with a sore throat and a runny nose. No big deal, I’ll delay my 18-miler until Monday. I thought it was also give my shin a chance to rest. The pain get worse. It hurt when I walked, it hurt when I flexed my foot. It hurt when I stood around. I tried to think back, to remember if I had bashed into any large object (it’s not unusual, I am extremely klutzy), but I couldn’t recall anything that might be causing this pain.

On Monday I finally gave in and went to urgent care. The doctor was nice enough but totally useless. He prescribed me painkillers told me he thought it was probably a sprain, and asked me three times if I could remember running into something. Then he did the smartest thing he could have and wrote me a referral to a sports doctor.

Yesterday I went to the sports doctor. I knew what was coming but it hurt so much all the same. The doctor took x-rays, asked questions, felt around and then broke the news as nicely as she could. No running for at least a month, probably 6 weeks, and almost certainly no marathon, unless I wanted to do serious damage to myself.

I’m essentially in between shin splints and a stress fracture. Her words were, “You’re basically a run or two away from a stress fracture.” She told me I could cycle and swim, I could continue to lift weights, but only upper-body stuff. No elliptical and absolutely no running. If the pain is gone in 3 weeks then I can start using the elliptical. Return in 3 weeks for a follow-up and to discuss recovery strategy.

I made it through the rest of the appointment without crying. I asked questions and nodded my head and said I understood, but I was holding back tears the entire time.

As soon as I left the office I started to cry. At the receptionist desk I had tears streaming down my face while I handed over my credit card for the co-pay. I walked to my car and sat and bawled my eyes out for a good 20 minutes. I finally got my shit together and drove myself home where I sat on the couch and did nothing all afternoon.

The pity party won’t last. By nature I’m an optimistic and happy person, and in a few days I’ll have dealt with the news, I’ll get over. I’ll realize that as long as I continue to work-out through the healing process I’ll be able to come back as a stronger and smarter runner. But right now it hurts. I am completely crushed.

Eighteen months ago I was basically a couch potato. I wasn’t overweight, but I was on my way, I hated the way I looked, I felt awful all the time. So I decided to change. Eighteen months ago I couldn’t run for longer than a minute at a time. Now, I’ve completed three half-marathons, nine races and I was WEEKS away from my very first marathon.

I have poured my heart into training for the Marine Corps Marathon. I’ve trained through rain and heat waves and hurricanes. I ran 14-miles on a freaking treadmill during a hurricane. I’ve turned down invite after invite to go out so I could go to bed early on Friday night to wake-up for my long run on Saturday. I’ve ingested more peanut butter and pretzels than a normal person should. I’ve paid through the nose for shoes and fuel and practice races. I asked more of my body than I probably should have and it delivered again, and again and again. But not this time.

And so, with two long runs left to complete in my marathon training I’m dropping out. I’ll defer my entry to 2012. I know there will be other races, other marathons even, I’m young and healthy and will have plenty of opportunities. But to have come so close to crossing that finish line at the end of 26.2 miles and to have to quit now is breaking my heart. In the grand scheme of things this is not the bad, and I know that, logically, but it hurts all the same.